worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
