It's just like the Real World with babies
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
