Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
