So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
