Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
