Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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