its not stalking. its research.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
