are you still at the devil's house?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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