So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
