It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
