we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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