see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
