Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
