Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
