I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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