READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
