I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
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