Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
