mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
