She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
