now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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