4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
