K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
