worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
