he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
