I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My underwear smells like fireworks.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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