you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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