I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
