My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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