we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
