Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
