Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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