I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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