hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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