I need help removing her.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
