i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
