A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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