I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this just has baby written all over it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
