You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Houston, we have a blender
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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