Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
