Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
