It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
