Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
