I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
