Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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