Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
