His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
