Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
