Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
