After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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