Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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