break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
