Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
