Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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